Parent-child relationships are not static. They almost...

Parent-child relationships are not static. They almost certainly change over time. Often, the changes involve the people and the things around. In â€Å"My Secret Left Me Unable to Help,† Joyce Maynard loses contact with her 22-year-old daughter, Audrey, who has volunteered in the Dominican Republic for six months. They keep in close contact with each other through e-mail. But, when Audrey informs her about falling in love with a man and pretends that she is very busy so that she cannot talk about the details to Maynard, Audrey’s emails stop. Somehow, Maynard has Audrey’s e-mail password so that she can hack into Audrey’s email to find out what is happening. Maynard feels sorry about hacking Audrey’s email, when she reminds that her†¦show more content†¦However, if she does not use the password and wait for the email responses, she will be very nervous day by day. She is unwilling to trace her daughter in this way, but as a parent, she does not have any other choices. At this moment, Maynard has to betray her daughter to hack into her e-mail. Maynard may know that if she did it, Audrey may not forgive her and even their relationship will become worse. Maynard must feel proud of Audrey going to a foreign country volunteering. But, when Audrey meets the guy, Maynard’s view of going abroad may change. As parents, they have a lot of expectations on their children. They want their children to be lawyers, doctors, engineers, and economists because they believe that those occupations can let their children be proud, successful and top. They believe that they raise their children the way they want to that their children must have good futures and have better lives. In Audrey’s view, she knows that falling in love with a man whom has H.I.V. may destroy all the expectations of Maynard so that she pretends there is nothing wrong with her. In a way, Audrey believe that she can handle the situation. She does not want Maynard involved because she thinks that she is not a child who needs protection from Maynard any more. Audrey says to Maynard, â€Å"‘You don’t need to try and fix my life any more, Mama,â€⠄¢Ã¢â‚¬ ¦ ‘I can handle that part on my own’† (5). She has her own life she wants to spend in. She understand thatShow MoreRelatedPrivacy And The Privacy Of Privacy1803 Words   |  8 PagesFirstly, it would be a good idea to explain exactly what privacy is and then discuss the importance of privacy and some of the legal consequences that could arise when violating a patient’s privacy. I’ve always believed that privacy is one of the most important things when it comes to the patient s care. One of the main forms of privacy that I would like to discuss is, Informational privacy which is defined as the privacy of personal information and usually relates to personal data stored on computerRead MorePrivacy And The Privacy Of Privacy1735 Words   |  7 PagesIn today’s society, the word â€Å"privacy† has become ubiquitous. When discussing whether government surveillance and data collection pose a threat to privacy, the most common retor t against privacy advocates – by those in favor of databases, video surveillance, spyware, data mining and other modern surveillance measures – is this line: If I’m not doing anything wrong, what would I have to hide? The allowance of the government’s gathering and analysis of our personal information stems from an inadequateRead MorePrivacy And The Privacy Of Privacy1626 Words   |  7 PagesPrivacy is the ability to maintain what or who can access and see your personal content and information. With that, the idea of privacy is different amongst different cultures and countries, while they all differ, they share common characteristics. The act of sharing ones own personal information is decision one must make on their own. Privacy is a right that all people should have and the government has the responsibility of maintaining that right. Data such as personal emails, bank details, medicalRead MorePrivacy Issues : Privacy And Privacy Essay2250 Words   |   9 PagesPrivacy Privacy has been a thing for consideration ever since the early days and has even become more worrisome recently with the evolvement of information technology. Individuals around the world value their privacy and the protection of their personal information. Having a knowledge of who is accessing their information and what it is being used for. But with the recent and rapid evolvement of IT, information privacy is being threatened and individuals no longer possess the control over who hasRead MorePrivacy1776 Words   |  8 PagesRunning Head: THE EXISTENCE OF PRIVACY WITH TECHNOLOGY THE EXISTENCE OF PRIVACY WITH TECHNOLOGY Obediah Howard Bellevue University â€Æ' THE EXISTENCE OF PRIVACY WITH TECHNOLOGY Abstract This research paper will discuss the relationship between privacy and technology. It will attempt to ascertain if technology and privacy can share the same plane of existence. Benefits and deficiencies of a particular technology are not hereditary to that technology, but are depend on theirRead MorePrivacy Is An American Invasion Of Privacy3114 Words   |  13 PagesPrivacy is an especially equivocal idea, in particularly because invasion of privacy is a concept that is arguably questionable. Privacy has been defined as the right to be left alone without unwarranted intrusion by government, media, or other institutions or individuals. While this definition serves as a quick start to the right of privacy, there are still several interpretations as to what may or may not constitute as an invasion of privacy. What one person may believe to be an innocent curiosityRead MoreA Brief Note On Privacy And The Privacy2459 Words   |  10 PagesDec. 2014 A Right to Privacy Technology has proposed a variety of different options to support the privacy rights of people. At the same time, technology has also done the opposite, making it almost impossible for anyone to have secured privacy. Nowadays, there are multiple hacking programs or devices that can help protect private information; however, they can also be used to invade privacy. Modern-day society has records of incidents and events involving the invasion of privacy, including those notRead MorePrivacy Is An American Invasion Of Privacy3113 Words   |  13 PagesIntroduction Privacy is an especially equivocal idea, in particularly because invasion of privacy is a concept that is arguably questionable. Privacy has been defined as the right to be left alone without unwarranted intrusion by government, media, or other institutions or individuals. While this definition serves as a quick start to the right of privacy, there are still several interpretations as to what may or may not constitute as an invasion of privacy. What one person may believe to be anRead MoreThe Invasion Of Privacy And Privacy1399 Words   |  6 PagesCelebrities; They Have A Right To Their Privacy Too   Ã‚  Ã‚   Invasion of privacy occurs way too often in society. How would you feel if you had your personal photos hacked, and then reposted onto the internet, what if they were your nude photos? What about your medical records, would you like to have your records stolen and then announced for the whole world to know? Many groups have their privacies hacked, stolen, abused, or even shared through other means of social media.   Look at one particular groupRead MoreThe Right to Privacy1152 Words   |  5 Pages Personal interest in the right to privacy has intensified in recent years along with the rapid development of new technologies. A century later, these concerns remain, but many others have joined them. Advances in information and communications technology have increased our ability to collect, store and transmit data about individuals. While these advances could be considered useful, some see them as a situation where anyone can watch and record the actions of every ind ividual, and where the

Working Memory - 5992 Words

Working Memory ââ€"  Working memory enables us to keep things in mind for short periods (215 seconds) as we think, e.g. while reading, making a list etc. ââ€"  It s related to but different to short-term-memory (STM) and long-term-memory (LTM). ââ€"  Chapter focuses on Baddley s (1986) model of phonological working memory, vocabulary acquisition and computational modelling of working-memory. ââ€"  The concept of span means how many items from a briefly presented set can be remembered, e.g. word span is the number of words that can be recalled if reading a list of say 20 words. Digit span, operation span, reading span etc. are similar tests. Models of working memory evolved over time: Atkinson Shiffrin (1971) Baddeley Hitch (1974)†¦show more content†¦Ã¢â€"   However he tested normally for long-term learning and memory, and had no problems understanding normal speech, so spared LTM. ââ€"   This suggests STM and LTM are distinct and normal STM is not required for LTM to function normally. ââ€"  Garden path sentences show we do retain words in memory as we process them (building up and interpreting sentences) but there are competing theories: ââ€"‹ Just and Carpenter (1992) claimed individual ability to hold multiple interpretations depends on working memory capacityÍ ¾ ââ€"‹ Caplan and Waters (1999) argued working memory isn’t involved as comprehension is done by a separate system. 5.1.3 Working memory as more than STM ââ€"  Baddeley and Hitch (1974) investigated whether STM acts as working memory: ââ€"‹ They used a dualtask paradigm (if two tasks interfere with each other they may be competing for the same limited resource): ââ€"   Participants simultaneously did an STM test, remembering and repeating a sixdigit sequence, along with one of three cognitive tasks: reasoning, language comprehension or list learningÍ ¾ ââ€"‹ They found: ââ€"   load in the STM task adversely affected cognitive performance, although a small number of items could be remembered without affecting the main task much, suggesting that information might be transiently stored and processed simultaneously by working memory, and that there may be two systems involved, one for storage and one for processingÍ ¾Show MoreRelatedWorking Memory and Its Benefits Essay2434 Words   |  10 Pagesfunctioning effectively to face immediate environmental changes in our everyday life. This ability is called the Working Memory. The term working memory was coined by Miller, Galanter, and Pribram in 1960 (Baddeley, 2003). It refers to the temporary storage in the brain for manipulation of necessary information to execute cognitive tasks. According to Baddeley and Hitch’s study (1974), working memory comprises three main components, a control system, the central executive and two storage systems, the visuospatialRead Moreworking memory18399 Words   |  74 PagesPAGES CHAPTER Working Memory 6 Le arn i ng O b j ec t i ves 1. Using Working Memory 1.1. A Computer Metaphor 1.2. Implications of the Nature of Working Memory 2. From Primary Memory to Working Memory: A Brief History 2.1. William James: Primary Memory, Secondary Memory, and Consciousness 2.2. Early Studies: The Characteristics of Short-Term Memory 2.2.1. Brevity of Duration 2.2.2. Ready Accessibility 2.3. The Atkinson-Shiffrin Model: The Relationship of Short-Term and LongTerm Memory 2.4. The Baddeley-HitchRead MoreWorking Memory Trainings and Limits of Its Transfer2205 Words   |  9 PagesWorking Memory Trainings and Limits of Its Transfer Working memory is the ability one has to manipulate and maintain information mentally, while ignoring other irrelevant distractions and interference in the brain. In recent years, there has been an increasing amount of interest in this field. Research in this area is in fact, still a currently active and quickly developing area. Working memory is so essential in every person’s everyday life that one would not be able to function and perform theirRead MoreWorking Memory : The State Of Memory1367 Words   |  6 PagesWorking Memory describes the state of memory we are actively engaged with. It performs the functions of receiving, temporarily holding and manipulating information (Baddeley, 2010). To assess memory psychologists have found it helpful to define their theories as models. Atkinson and Shiffrin ‘s 1968 Stage Model of Memory defined 3 main components of memory systems; sensory memory from perception of experience that becomes short-term memory (STM), which through rehearsal loads more permanent connectionsRead MoreThe Effects Of Bilingualism On The Executive Function And Working Memory1948 Words   |  8 Pagesmore rapidly to conditions that placed greater demands on working memory. In all cases the bilingual advantage was greater for older participants. These two findings imply that bilingualism have beneficial effects on the executive function and working memory. Besides the excellent executive function ability and the great capability of working memory, researchers also found out that bilinguals have advantages on a particular working memory. The study of Luo et.al (2013) demonstrated that bilingualsRead MoreThe Aging Memory: A Research on Working Memory and Recall Essay1969 Words   |  8 PagesThe aging memory: short-term memory and rec all performance differences found in age groups. 1. Introduction The following research proposal aims to continue to further the discussion and study into human memory. However, specifically more into the difference that can be found between age groups in terms of short-term memory and recall performance. Motivation to undertake in such a study can be said to expand on the existing knowledge as well as to close any gaps due to lack of insight and testingRead MoreEvaluate the Working Memory Model1310 Words   |  6 PagesEvaluate the Working Memory Introduction Human memory is a complex cognitive structure, which can be defined in many ways. One would argue that memory is 1.) The mental function of retaining information about stimuli, event, images, ideas, etc. after the original stimuli is no longer present. 2.) The hypothesized storage system in the mind that holds this information is so retained. A clear distinction is made between different types of memory systems and can be divided into subclasses. TheRead MoreThe Effects Of Anxiety Disorders And Situational Anxiety On Short Term Working Memory1651 Words   |  7 PagesAbstract: This research paper summarizes the results of three academic articles exploring the effects of anxiety disorders, and situational anxiety on short term working memory. These three articles all used different methods in attempt to connect anxiety with working memory performance. To summarize, these studies attempt to answer the question of whether or not an attentional bias toward threatening (anxiety triggering) exposure or conditions, causes a greater susceptibility to distraction andRead MoreThe Effect Of Speed Pressure On Working Memory During Mental Arithmetic Tasks1211 Words   |  5 Pagesspeed pressure on working memory during mental arithmetic tasks. 392 undergraduate students’ working memory capacities were measured and participants were divided into high and low working memory groups. They were then randomly assigned into the fast or slow condition and tested with the critical stimuli compromised of addition equations. The findings showed that fast conditions result in higher error rates than the slow conditions. The speed pressure also caused high working memory individuals to shiftRead MoreWorking Memory Model Essay941 Words   |  4 Pagesfor being a very simplistic view of memory. They saw short term memory as a store that had many individual sections inside it. This was supported by patient KF who had epilepsy, the doctor wanted to try and remedy this by removing his hippocampus. This surgery was done, however instead of fixing his epilepsy, it damaged his short term memory, yet he still had his long term memory intact. In the multi-store model it states that in order to have long term memory, one needs to have gone through the

When Small Means Big The Impact of Nanotechnology Free Essays

string(22) " of this small world\." A revolution in science and technology, which will significantly impact our daily lives, is looming in the horizon. The scientific community is now excited by changes that could be brought about by the multidisciplinary discipline of nanoscience and nanotechnology, which is comprehensively defined as â€Å"[r]esearch and technology development at the atomic, molecular, or macromolecular levels, in the length of approximately 1–100 nm range, to provide a fundamental understanding of phenomena and materials at the nanoscale, and to create and use structures, devices, and systems that have novel properties and functions because of their small size. The novel and differentiating properties and functions are developed at a critical length scale of matter typically under 100 nm. We will write a custom essay sample on When Small Means Big: The Impact of Nanotechnology or any similar topic only for you Order Now Nanotechnology research and development includes integration of nanoscale structure into larger material components, systems, and architectures. Within these larger scale assemblies, the control and construction of their structures and component devices remain at the nanoscale†. (National Research Council 2002, cited in Dreher 2004). Although technically encompassing any device measuring at least 1,000 nanometers—a nanometer (from Greek ‘nano’, meaning dwarf) is one-billionth of a meter (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004)—much of the work being done presently focuses on materials smaller than 100 nm (Gupta et al 2003) since it is at this level that materials exhibit unique physical and chemical properties that can be harvested to convey improvements to engineered materials (i.e. enhanced magnetic properties, better electrical and optical activity, and superior structural integrity) (Thomas Sayre 2005). Ralph Merkle, as cited by Gupta et al (2003), noted that atomic configuration, to an extent, determines physical and chemical characteristics of materials, using as examples carbon in diamond, or silica from sand. From this perspective, the manufacturing techniques we are using today appear crude since we are moving molecules by heaps and mounds, and, therefore, are manufacturing devices that could still be improved for accuracy and precision (Gupta et al 2003). Nanotechnology, according to Gupta et al, aims to explore and exploit the possibility of designing at the molecular and atomic levels, and producing a generation of novel products that boast of greater strength, lighter weight and better precision (2003). Technically nanotechnology is not something new. Ball (2003) notes that nanoscale devices have been, and are currently being, utilized by organisms in their daily functioning. He cites, for instance, the proteins that serve as motors to flagella of motile bacteria, as readers and interpreters of the genetic code, or as miniature solar panels in plants that gather sunlight for photosynthesis (Ball 2003). The possibility of harnessing this potential within the environment and put them to practical use has been floated in the scientific community as early as the 1940s, when von Neumann forwarded the idea of manufacturing systems or machines that are capable of self-replication, which could potentially lower production costs (Gupta et al 2003). Richard Feynman in 1959, in an address to the American Physical Society entitled ‘There Is Plenty of Room at the Bottom’, advanced the possibility that, similar to what we are doing at the macroscopic scale, we could maneuver atoms to where we want them to be, and produce materials that would solve the problem of manufacture and reproduction (Buxton et al 2003; Gupta P et al 2003). In 1986, K Eric Drexler provided a picture of nanotechnological use in the future in his book Engines of Creation, where humans are utilizing self-replicating nanoscale robots in daily life processes (Ball 2003). The move from the drawing board to actual application, however, has been very recent—as evidenced by the relatively few nanotechnology products—fuelled by theoretical and laboratory progress which showed that, indeed, systems can be built from molecules and atoms maneuvered at the microscopic scale (Gupta et al 2003). L’Oreal recently introduced in the market sun creams that contain nano-sized grains of titanium dioxide, which absorbs ultraviolet light, but without the ‘smeared chalk’ appearance of regular creams (Ball 2003). This same technology, according to Ball (2003) was taken a step further when it was found that titanium dioxide particles become reactive when exposed to ultraviolet light, leading to the development of self-cleaning tiles and glasses—titanium-coated tiles and glasses that use the sun’s energy to burn up dirt stuck to their surfaces. In the filed of medicine, nanotechnology is currently being utilized with state-of -the-art technology to combat genetic diseases (Dunkley 2004). In addition to these, researches are currently undergoing, exploring the various possible applications of nanotechnology in various fields. For instance, in the medical sciences, the development of nanorobots could aid in precise, and rapid, cellular repair and regeneration, delivery of drugs at the site where it is needed, destruction of cancerous cells, or unblocking of clogged blood vessels (Dunkley 2004). The capacity to detect disease through alterations in body chemistry or physiology is also a possibility through nanotubes or nanowires coated with detector molecules (Buxton et al 2003). Molecular imaging, according to Buxton et al (2003) will also provide us with a view of the human body beyond gross anatomic structures, since this would utilize molecules that would home to tissues affected by specific disease processes. Environmental problems we face today, such as air pollution or oil spills, could be remedied through nanorobots designed to clean these toxic elements from th e air we breath or the water we drink (Dunkley 2004). The material sciences will also significantly benefit from nanotechnology, with the promise of development of stronger and lighter plastics, computers with faster processors and increased memory storage, ion storage for batteries (which will improve performance), quick-charging battery cars, and fuel cells for motor-driven devices that are environment-friendly and energy efficient (Gupta et al 2003). Perhaps a bit too far in the future, Dunkley even forwards the idea that it might be possible, with nanorobots moving atoms and molecules, for us to create common and everyday things from our own backyard, moving manufacturing to the domain of the household with a wheelbarrow and a shovel (2004). Because of the great promise held by nanotechnology, governments worldwide are investing in nanoresearch, to further refine our understanding of this small world. You read "When Small Means Big: The Impact of Nanotechnology" in category "Essay examples" Global investment in nanotechnology has been estimated to be â‚ ¬5 billion, according to the Royal Society and the Royal Academy of Engineering (2004). The European Union pledged to spend â‚ ¬1 billion (Ball 2003), whereas Japan allocated $800M in 2003 (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). The United States is willing to spend nearly $3.7 billion for nanotechnology from 2005 to 2008, with nearly $500 million allocated for research funding (Dunkley 2004; The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004; Thomas Sayre 2005). The considerable change nanotechnology can bring, as well as the huge sums of money governments worldwide are currently spending to make this a reality, has sparked some questions from various sectors on the impact of nanotechnologies, not only to the scientific fields to which it will be applied, but to the society in general. In the biological sciences, for instance, the primary concern is the possible toxicity exposure—and chronic exposure, at that—to nanoparticles can bring about, since these materials have the capability of interacting with cells and cellular organelles, and hence, alter body physiology (Ball 2003; The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). Dreher (2004), and Thomas and Sayre (2005) have recently reviewed the evidence on the health impact of nanotechnology exposure, and found that there is a paucity of evidence to encourage or preclude use of nanotechnologies in humans pending full investigations and detailed evidence supporting or debunking the same. Ball (2003) notes that, in the same way as new drugs or devices, nanotechnology must be viewed as a potential health hazard unless proven otherwise. Large scale production in the future would necessitate hazard-testing and human exposure assessment, to minimize risks (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). The significant economic impact of nanotechnologies, according to experts, may not be felt in the short-term, although this must be viewed with caution, since it is entirely difficult to predict what impact a developing technology that has not yet realized its full potential will have (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). The differing capacities of developed, developing and underdeveloped countries to participate in the nanotechnology race has also raised concerns that it might intensify the economic gap between these nations, leading to what is referred to as a ‘nanodivide’ (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). Finally, patenting of nanotechnology—which is advantageous since it would, though economic incentive, encourage other individuals to contribute to scientific progress—may stifle creativity or innovation when a broad one is granted (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). Another area of concern is military and defense capability. The development of new devices—pervasive sensors, improved clothing and armor, and enhanced information and communication exchange—could be viewed both as opportunities and threats, depending on who uses them, and how they are used (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). But more than this, the Royal Society (2004) cautions that the secrecy coupled with development of technologies for defense use might fuel public distrust, and heighten the understanding that nanotechnology is being developed primarily, if not entirely, for military ends. Ethical issues pervading the socio-cultural impact of nanotechnologies are also a concern. For instance, development of new nanodevices may cause a significant change in employment patterns, role perception, education patterns, and eventually family life (Dunkley 2004). The end result, still according to Dunkley (2004) would be a shift in our present definition of inequality, poverty, and class, and finally, the way we construe society in general. If what Dunkley predicted would come true (i.e. manufacturing at our own backyard), then the capacity to produce would be entirely dependent on having the necessary resources for this production, which brings to fore the concern of concentration of the harvests of nanotechnology in the hands of a few. Although nanomanufacturing could present the solution to hunger and homelessness, the question remains whether it will alter our perception of the material world where we move (Dunkley 2004). The possibility of devices being used to store personal information, although enhancing personal security on the one hand, also raises the possibility of violation of civil liberties, especially when collection and distribution of the same is made without the consent of the person involved, or access to these information could be limited to the hands of the few who could develop and control personal information databases or systems (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). Finally, the possibility of radical human enhancement, or the creation of humans in the future, through nanotechnology (in conjunction with biotechnology and information technology), though a remote possibility, still carries with it the burden of resolving whether these creations are really human, and whether they also possess souls like we do (Dunkley 2004). In the same vein, this new capability would radically change, if not totally abolish, our perception of religion and morality (The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering 2004). On a lesser plane, the possibility of nanotechnology extending human longevity to hundreds of years will definitely alter our view of aging and death (Dunkley 2004). What, then, lies in store for us in the future with nanotechnology? Actually, no one can tell, since nanotechnology is but a frontier—which, to Melbin is a pattern of sparse settlement in space or time—or what Dunkley (2004) describes as relatively ‘unsettled and a wilderness waiting to be discovered’. Until such time, therefore, that the full potential of nanotechnology has been realized, or at least understood through research, we may endlessly speculate about how nanotechnology will affect our daily lives and society in general, who will benefit from its, what and capabilities will it provide us. The concerns, however, raised in this paper are valid considerations of the impact the future application of nanotechnologies will have, and this necessitates caution and vigilance on the part of all stakeholders. References Ball P, 2003 (23 Jun), ‘Nanotechnology Science’s Next Frontier or Just a Load of Bull?’, New Statesman, vol. 132, no. 4643, pp. 30-31. Buxton DB, Lee SC, Wickline SA, Ferrari M for the Working Group Members, 2003 (02 Dec), ‘Recommendations of the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute Nanotechnology Working Group’, Circulation, vol. 108, pp. 2737-2742. Dreher KL, 2004, ‘Health and environmental impact of nanotechnology: Toxicological assessment of manufactured nanoparticles’, Toxicological Sciences, vol. 77, pp. 3–5. Dunkley RWS, 2004, ‘Nanotechnology: Social Consequences and Future Implications’, Futures, vol. 36, no. 10, pp. 1129-1132. Gupta P, Malhotra R, Segal MA Verhaeren MYFJ, 2003, ‘Recent trends in nanotechnology’, in R Gulati, A Paoni M Sawhney (eds), Kellogg on Technology Innovation, Wiley, Hoboken, NJ, pp. 261-283. The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering, 2004, Nanoscience and nanotechnologies: opportunities and uncertainties, The Royal Society The Royal Academy of Engineering, London. Thomas K Sayre P, 2005, ‘Research strategies for safety evaluation of nanomaterials, Part I: Evaluating the human health implications of exposure to nanoscale materials’, Toxicological Sciences, vol. 87, no. 2, pp. 316–321. How to cite When Small Means Big: The Impact of Nanotechnology, Essay examples

Problems of Upbringing free essay sample

At the same time they are asked to take up ballet dancing (in the case of girls), taekwando (in the case of boys), music lessons, computer classes and so on. On top of this, they insist that their children obtain straight ‘A’s in their examinations and excel in everything else. In this rat-race they turn their children into display objects; possessions which they can be proud to show off to their friends and relatives and for others to talk about. In the good old days, life as a child and a teenager was never stressful because there were not too many expectations to fulfil. But children these days, especially those in urban areas, seem to have so many things to do and compete in that they are deprived of a normal childhood. Many people fail to realise that as parents, they have certain rights and also responsibilities. The child has his or her rights and responsibilities too. We will write a custom essay sample on Problems of Upbringing or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page What we have today are people who want to be super parents, but in many cases the children do not turn out to be super. Parents should therefore be realistic and reasonable. They should not set targets which they well know their children cannot fulfill, thus avoiding unnecessary stress and disappointments to the family. Building a happy family is a continuous process. Hence, parents must not only be fully aware of their roles and responsibilities, but also apply modern techniques in parenting accordingly. Remember the saying of the Taoist philosopher, Zhuang Zu; ‘if you have 6 fingers do not try to made them 5, and if you have 5 fingers do not try to made them 6. Do not go against nature. ’ You are responsible as a concerned parent for the well-being and up-bringing of your children. If the child grows up to be a strong, healthy and useful citizen, it is the result of your efforts. If the child grows up to be a delinquent, it is you who must bear the responsibility. Do not blame others. As parents, it is your bounden duty to guide your child on a proper path. Although there are a few incorrigible cases of juvenile delinquency, nevertheless as parents, you are morally responsible for the behavior of your children. Parental support and control have to be adjusted as the child grows. The ultimate goal of parenting is to become a friend to your child but only according to his capacity to accept responsibility. A mistake some parents make is that they want to be a friend to their six-year old. But we need to be careful about what we mean 1 by â€Å"friend†. It certainly does not mean we treat a child as if he is an equal in maturity. But there must be love, trust and respect. At that age, a child needs a parent, not a friend. While building a loving and supportive relationship with the children, it is recommended that parents help them develop spiritually. Above all, you must have time for your child. Time to answer his questions, to help him understand the wonder of life. You have to bear in mind that you are stifling the creativity in your child when you do not answer the questions that he is raising. When a child is asking questions, he is indeed seeking to communicate, so the biggest challenge confronting you is to respond readily with love, and everything you do should be congruent with the natural inquisitiveness in a child. Being spontaneous is also important in getting children involved in things and the greatest scientists have been known to be spontaneous. If parents do not know the answers to questions they must make it a point to find it out for their children instead of brushing them of and telling them that they are too busy, or it is not important, thus shutting them up and stifling their curiosity. You will feel guilty about telling your children during their most tender and inquisitive age: ‘Don’t ask so many questions! ’ As a caring and responsible parent you should in fact respond readily to that natural inquisitiveness in your child. The scientific way of solving a problem is to look at the problem, find all the data available and then come up with a solution in a coherent manner. Likewise, a child whose curiosity meets with a favoured respond will learn to think and act scientifically as well as creatively and this will serve him well into adulthood. For instance, when you give a toy to your child, you should give it with tender love and joy. Instead, certain parents tend to almost shout: ‘ don’t open it like that. Don’t break the toy, it is very expensive. Do you know how lucky you are to get such a toy? ’ If you can afford to buy the toy, he will quite logically think he can afford to break it. You could instead be part of his discovery by telling him: ‘Come my dear, lets open the toy box together,’ and use the fun element instead of the negative element. Give the present with joy and love. It can be done if you are not stressed and unhappy yourself. You must be happy for it is only in a state of happiness that one is comfortable and generous. Parents sometimes are to be blamed for unwittingly inculcating negative social habits in their children. For instance, a parent who asks a child to say that he or she is not in when answering a phone call (a seemingly innocent act) plants the first seed of falsehood in the tender mind of the child. If allowed to flourish in an environment not conducive to promoting human values, the child may well in the future, become a destructive element to the peace, happiness and well being of families and society, and more importantly, to himself. Many parents and elders are today responsible for planting these seeds of falsehood in many different ways. They either encourage falsehood directly, or by acting or speaking falsely, initiating and allowing the vicious cycle of human value degradation to develop. The fate of our children may well depend upon the parents and elders developing the right attit ude towards a moral upbringing truth and truthful living. Children echo the language of their parents. To prevent the use of rude or vulgar worlds, responsible parents should use pleasant terms, as children generally tend to imitate their parents. A child at its most impressionable age needs the love, care, affection and attention of the parents. Without parental love and guidance, the child will be emotionally handicapped and will find the world a bewildering place to live in. Showering parental love on the other hand does not mean pandering to all the demands of the child, reasonable or otherwise. Too much pampering would in fact, spoil the child. The mother in bestowing the love and care on the child, should also be strict and firm, but not harsh. Show your love with a disciplined hand – the child will understand. Parents should spend more quality time with their children, particularly, during their formative years. They should consider giving their children the gift of healthy parenting instead of showering them with material presents. The gift includes giving the child self-esteem, striving for positive communication, granting unconditional love and eliminating aspects that hinder the child’s psychological development. These are gifts with true, deeper meaning. Healthy parenting is the greatest gift a child can receive and a parent can give. Unfortunately, amongst contemporary parents, parental love is sadly lacking. The mad rush for material advancement, the liberation movement and aspiration for equality among the sexes have all resulted in many mothers joining their husbands in the workforce, spending many hours in offices and shops, rather than remaining at home and attending to their offsprings. The children, left to the care of relations, day care centres or paid servants are deprived of tender motherly love and care. Providing the child with all sort of sophisticated modern toys (as a form of appeasement) such as tanks, machine guns, pistols, or swords are detrimental to character formation and not psychologically advisable. Loading a child with such toys is no substitute for a mother’s tender love and affection. The child as a result, is unwittingly taught to condone aggression and destruction instead of being taught to be kind, compassionate and helpful. Such a child will develop violent tendencies as it grows up. Devoid of parental affection and guidance, it will not be surprising if the child subsequently grows up to be a delinquent. Then, who is to be blamed for bringing up such a wayward child? The parents, of course! 3 The working mother, especially after a hard day’s work in an office, followed by household chores, can hardly find time for a child that is yearning for her care and attention. Parents who have no time for their children now should not complaint later in life when these same children have no time for them. Parents who claim that they spend a lot of money on their children but are too busy to spend time with them should not complain when in their old age, their ‘busy’ children in turn decide to leave them in homes for the aged! Most women work today so that their families can enjoy more material benefits. They should seriously consider Gandhi’s advice for men to seek freedom from greed rather than freedom from need. Of course, given today’s economic setup we cannot deny that some mother are forced to work. In such a case, the father and mother must make extra sacrifices of their time to compensate for what their children miss when they are away. If both parents spent their non-working hours at home with their children, there will be greater harmony and understanding between parents and children. We call this ‘quality time’ with the family. Children who are left in the care of relatives, day care centres and paid servants, as well as latch key children who are left to their own devices at home, are often deprived of motherly love and care. The mother, feeling guilty about this lack of attention, will try to placate the child by giving in to all sorts of demands. Such actions only spoil the child. Most men devote their energies and their creativity to their work and thus what energy they have reserved for the family are merely the ‘leftovers’. Here is where the argument for quality time comes in, usually from guilty parents who want to justify the limited time they spend with their children. One of the flaws of the quality time concept lies in the fact that the needs of the children and the availability of the parents do not always converge. When the children need them, they are not around. Parents are often placed in a dilemma. Rushing home from a hard day’s work, weary parents have the household chores waiting for them. When the day’s work is done, it would be time for dinner followed by watching TV, and whatever time there is left is hardly enough to attend to a child’s need for love and affection. More importantly, parents are not around to transmit cultural, social and religious values to their children at the time when children are best attuned to receive them. This cannot be simply forced on to the children during ‘quality time’! Some working parents may even take their work home and bring back the stress and tension they gathered at their work place. As a result, they may lose their temper at the children. 4 As husband and wife, they may not have enough time together and this may even lead to broken marriages. There should be increased awareness that strong family ties can contribute to the healthy growth of a child. Gender differences do operate in parent/child relationships. It is said that mother and their grown-up daughters communicate often, even after the daughters are married and have left home. The father perhaps think that the son is a big boy and that he should know his role and duties at home, towards his parents and outside the home. But with mothers, it is different – the daughter is forever ‘my little girl. Whatever it is, parents have an important role to play in bringing up their children and doing it well if they want to help ease the many ills plaguing our society today. Good values cannot be taught through words, but example by conduct trough. Parents must be good models themselves. The old parental attitude that ‘you do whatever father tells you to do and not what he does,’ does not hold water any more. Parents must be of the right character themselves. If we want our children to begin life well with the proper values, we have to start and conduct at home. If there are problems in the relationship between the child and parent, the parent must begin to look within themselves for the cause of those problems. Sacrifices by both parents are needed. They should make time and try as far as possible to get the family members involved together in family – oriented activities. In essence, the answer lies in setting their priorities right i. e. , putting the family ant marriage at the top of their list of priorities in life, thus creating a close-knit family relationship for a harmonious environment at home. A Happy Family It is true in every society that a family is the smallest social unit. If every family in the country is happy, the whole nation will be happy. What constitutes a happy family? A happy family is defined as one that is stable in terms of social, economic, psychological and physical aspects of life; and where there is warm affection and harmony among family members. A family which can strike a balance between these factors is indeed a happy family. But when we look around us and at the situation in most parts of the world, what do we see? Children loitering in the streets and video arcades. They play truant. Children are abused, wives are beaten and ageing parents are packed off to old 5 folks homes regardless of their feelings. All these are tell-tale signs that all is not well at the most basic level of society: these are sign of social decadence. It is a sad situation when good values and traditions are no longer practised. There is little interaction among members of the family and friends and the sense of responsibility towards other members of the family is weakening. Unhappiness in the family may be attributed to poverty, but having material wealth is no guarantee of happiness either, if it simply breeds selfishness, cruelty and greed. A child learns affection and love from his parents and, together they make a happy family unit. Through this microcosm of society, it learns about caring, sharing, compassion and concern for others. Throughout the ages, religion has been an important force to organise these values into a system that is easily recognised and taught. Thus family and religion are vital components in imparting and nurturing these values. The family plays an important role in the development of its members. The best of Asian and Western cultures teach and practise respect for elders, compassion for the sick and needy, care for elderly parents and consideration for the young. Children growing up in families practising these values will emulate them and act accordingly towards others. But with the vast technological advances in modern civilization we are fast losing these values. Something must be done to bring the family back together and save society. We must protect and support family development as an institution in the light of the rapid demographic and socio-economic changes world-wide. Extended families are giving way to nuclear families. We can do little to stop this trend but the values of respect, concern and compassion must be preserved. Good values, both Eastern and Western must be maintained despite changes in lifestyle brought on by modernisation, industrialisation and urbanisation. The mother is an important figure in family development. As care, love, tenderness and compassion are her innate qualities; she imparts these sterling values to her children in their upbringing. The mother, because of her love, concern, compassion, patience and tolerance thus holds the family together. Her espousal of these values may be passed on the her children who are great imitators and who learn by examples. We must as a group reinstate the traditional function of the mother, with of course adjustments to suit modern needs and pressures. Religion too, promotes good human values. Strong resilient families and the pratice of religion are therefore necessary in he promotion of family development. 6 It could be said that a happy family is a group of people living amicably and peacefully together with emphasis on religion, discipline and parenthood to create a happy family atmosphere. Value like these should be upheld and religiously protected so that a family is not influenced by anti-social values and unacceptable norms. Realistic and r easonable parents make a happy family. And the only way parents can build a happy family is through the institution of marriage. It has worked very well in the past. It can do so now, provided we make it relevant to the needs of today’s living. Marital Problems Almost every day, we hear of people complaining about their marriages. Young people reading romantic novels and seeing romantic films often conclude that marriage is a bed of roses. Unfortunately, marriage is not as sweet as one thinks. Marriage and marital problems are inter-related and people must remember that when they get married, they will have to face certain problems and responsibilities that they have never expected or experienced before. After the euphoria of the wedding, the realities of living together will set in for the couple, and for some, the prospects are daunting. Lack of communication or interaction with members of the family are some of the factors which can be attributed to an unhappy marriage. A stage will be reached when husband and wife do not even communicate with each other. Common examples of non-communication between husband and wife are :- (a) at the breakfast table he is deeply engrossed with the newspaper; (b) when he returns from work he will be absorbed in his hobbies or watches television, and during the weekends he plays golf or indulges in other pastimes; (c) he does not express any feelings or concern for the wife, let alone observe important anniversaries or birthdays. The wife on her part, after getting married, is no longer interested in her figure and general appearance. She dresses shabbily. As she no longer reads or maintains a stimulating circle of friends, the husband finds that he can no longer engage in a stimulating conversation with her. Life then becomes boring and this leads the husband to resort to drink and seek solace outside the matrimonial home. When does discontent first creep into a marriage? For most couples, the first year is usually a good year. For some couples, the adjustments of living together as husband and wife may turn out to be a stressful experience. The arrival of the first child could also give rise to problems as both husband and wife grapple with the realities of being first-time parents. 7 Some people say that for the first year after their marriage, the husband would listen to the wife. In the second year, the wife would listen to the husband. From the third year onwards, neighbours would listen to both of them when they shout at each other. Usually, discontent will be greater if there is no adequate preparation for marriage. For instance, pre-marital counselling will help couples prepare for the many surprises, pleasant or otherwise, that they may discover in the course of their marriage. The dissatisfaction that is supposed to hit most men after being married for some years arises from a misconception that ‘the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. ’ The tendency to be attracted to members of the opposite sex has no age limits. Such restlessness can occur anytime during the marriage, even for women. Boredom is the usual cause, whereas disappointment with the partner is also a common complaint. When expectations are not fulfilled, pockets of grouses will start to develop. In any case, when there is no firm commitment to the marriage and no religious foundation, anything can happen at anytime to jeopardise it. What are the roots of discontent? Many wives say that they wish their husbands would listen to them more, be more attentive to their needs or express their feelings better. It all boils down to a case of communication which is very much lacking in most modern marriages. In the past, because of their upbringing and social conditioning women were contented to remain in the background and accept any kind of treatment at the hands of their husbands. But times have changed. Women are now much better educated, hold responsible jobs and are aware of their rights. Men must accept these realities and treat their wives as equal partners in a marriage. Women can no longer be taken for granted. For most men, marriage is a goal which they set for themselves to achieve. Having done so, they will pour their energies and ime to the other most important aspect of their lives, that is, their career or business. The expectations of women, on the other hand are totally different. They expect more love and intimacy after marriage and therefore seek to spend more time with their husbands. Bringing one’s external problems back to the home and taking it out on the spouse and children is damaging to the family’s stability and creates a stress spiral. In Asian societies, the problem of in-law interference is a common one. This is particularly so if the in-laws are able to influence the decisions of their child. A common complaint put forward by wives is that the husbands listen to their 8 parents instead of to them. The interference of the in-laws in the upbringing of the children is also a problem. The grand-parents tend to be relaxed with the children and sometimes spoil them, while the parents have to discipline them. The conflict of values between generations is often glaring in such cases. Some young couples are not happy to allow their children to have close association with their grand parents thinking they will learn the old fashioned way of life from their grand parents. In India and Sri Lanka and to a lesser extent even in Malaysia, the dowry system is one of the main obstacles to a happy union. The dowry could include the huge amounts of money, a bungalow, a luxury car, all of these or even more, depending on how affluent the parents are. And because parents want desperately to marry their daughters off, they make promises which they cannot keep and the marriages start to crumble. The dowry system has been abused. In the old days, a dowry was given to the daughter for safekeeping in case of an emergency. Unlike today, the women then were totally dependent to their husbands and the dowry was a kind of insurance in case their husbands became unable to support them. Later, the dowry was to be handed over to the in-laws for safekeeping and now it has become compulsory for the daughter-in-law’s parents to present her future in-laws with the dowry. People often think that it is a duty to get married and that marriage is a very important part of their lives. However, in order to ensure a successful marriage, a couple has to harmonise their lives by minimising whatever differences they may have between them. A couple must also learn to accept each other’s shortcomings and personal weaknesses. Even happy, well-matched couples can experience conflict, hurt, disappointment and anger. They may encounter shortcomings in areas such as showing appreciation of each other, willingness to converse and expressing emotions clearly. Do not shy away from conflict. Disagreements can lead to marital growth, not distance. Quarrels are essential for survival in a healthy marriage. But a quarrel can only be successfully terminated if both parties can forgive and forget. Be willing to work at your marriage. Do not assume that since the first 10 or 20 years were good, the next 10 or 20 years will also be good. Love needs to be fed – with shared experience, joys and sorrows. This requires time, attention, courage and understanding. One of the major causes of marital problems is suspicion and mistrust. Both husband and wife should have and show implicit trust for one another and try not to have secrets between them. Secrets create suspicion, suspicion leads to jealousy, jealousy generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation or divorce, suicide or even murder. 9 If a couple can share pain and pleasure in their day-to-day life, they can console each other and minimise their grievances. Thus, the wife or husband should not expect to experience only pleasure in their wedded lives. There will be a lot of painful, miserable episodes, burdens and misunderstandings. Discussing mutual problems with one another will give them confidence to resolve any obstacle that they will have to face. They must have the strong will-power to reduce tension and develop the confidence to live together with better understanding and tolerance. Men and women need the comfort of each other when facing problems and difficulties. The feeling of insecurity and unrest will disappear and life will be more meaningful, happy and interesting if there is someone who is willing to share the other’s burden. Marital problems prompted a cynic to say that there can be a peaceful married life if the marriage is between a blind wife and a deaf husband, for the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and a deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife. Extracted From The Book : Human Life Problems The Full Text is on Sale and can be obtained from: Buddhist Missionary Society Buddhist Maha Vihara 123, Jalan Berhala, Brickfields 50470 Kuala Lumpur Malaysia 10